So far I LOVE being a mother. I'm sure people think there is no possible way NOT to love it but I have to admit...it's not always easy! There have been a couple fussy times with Ava where I just feel so helpless and wonder what the heck I need to do to make her happy! The worst was yesterday with Ann Crevilli at my parents house...I think Ava sensed the stress the moment she walked in the door and as soon as Ava started to cry, Ann wouldn't shut the fuck up! She kept telling me what do, what I was doing wrong, how I shouldn't let anybody but me hold Ava, how I shouldn't even be at my moms house yet and how I wasn't even holding my daughter correctly. I seriously was so frustrated which I'm sure Ava could sense...I know Ann was just trying to be "helpful" but I don't want to be around "helpful" people right now. If I'm dealing with my child, let me do just that and don't interfere or judge me. That's the crazy thing...Ava has NEVER (I say that like she's been around forever lol) been like that! Poor baby :( Anyways, other than that dramatic experience things have been going really well. Breastfeeding is a full time job but we're a pretty good team and John's been really supportive. I introduced the pacifier today while we were on a short walk...she enjoyed it but I think I'll try and limit the use until I know she's gaining weight from feedings.
Oh, and my "I'm a dumb shit" moment of the day! I was changing a wet diaper and took the wet diaper out from under her...just as I was grabbing the clean diaper to put under her-she pooped all over the blanket!!! Lol!!! The poop was yellow for the first time so that's all that mattered to me...I just felt so silly because John just told me to be careful about this yesterday :) I have a feeling I'll be learning by trial and error a lot over the next few months-actually probably the rest of my life to be honest.
John is golfing right now...he's playing with Johnny Drama from Entourage-I don't know his real name! Mom is coming over to help give Ava a bath and then Caitlin, Dana and Drew are stopping by before their Christmas party tonight.
Oh, and last night we all got 6 hours of sleep in our own beds! Well, not Ava's crib but the bassinet in our room. She's pretty much waking up every 1.5 hours and feeding for 30 mins which is a huge increase from yesterday. Dr McClaren said that she should be feeding ever 2 hours so we're on track now...Ava weighed in at 6 lbs 9 oz at the appointment so it's really important she doesn't lose more. We go back Monday just to be on the safe side but I think I'll be fine since my milk is finally coming in.
